Every family should establish a set of clear and fair family rules that everybody in the family should know and follow. Parents have the greatest influence on shaping their children's perception of the dangerous consequences of tobacco, alcohol, and drug use.
Parents play the biggest role in keeping children drug free. According to White House Drug Policy Director Mr. Barry McCaffrey "parents have the greatest influence on shaping their children's perception of the dangerous consequences of tobacco, alcohol, and drug use". Children usually follow their family's example, they are likely to stay away from drugs if their parents do not use them and have an anti-drug attitude.
As parents you should be mature, caring, responsible, supportive, and making the world safe for your children. A strong husband-wife relationship is required for a sound foundation for children and a happy family. You should be honest to each other. You should know each other, support each other and should be prepared to sacrifice for each other. This will create a sound environment for your children and would provide a great sense of security for your children.
As parents, you can build your families by having strong, loving relationships with your children, by teaching standards of right and wrong, by setting and enforcing rules for behavior, by knowing the facts about alcohol and other drugs, and by really listening to your children. Love and strength are your most important weapons. Your children look to you for help and guidance in making all decisions including decision not to use drugs. As a role model, decision to not use any drugs will send a healthy message to your children.
A family ought to operate on bottom-line values and traditions. Every family has expectations of behavior that are determined by principles and standards. These add up to values. Traditions are based on moral values, ethnic background, rituals for festivals and religion beliefs. It is the responsibility of parents to keep and enforce those values and traditions.
The parents must decide about the acceptable behavior for family members, and everybody must live by those values. The family members must know who will be in charge in the family and set a model of authority and protect the kids. Be clear about the values you expect from your children. Do not expect so high that the child cannot meet them. This will cause stresses that can lead to drug use.
First examine yourself. That will be the beginning of preparation for your children. Are you happy with your family relationships, your social relationships, and your responsibilities in the society? How does other family members measure up to these points? The child who feels bad about any one of these points is likely to be lured by the things like alcohol or drugs to make those bad feelings turn into good feelings. Children who decide not to use alcohol or other drugs often make this decision because they have strong convictions against the use of these substances-convictions that are based in a value system. Social, family, and religious values give young people reasons to say no and help them stick to their decisions.
Define Family Values
Here are some ways to help make your family's values clear:
Communicate values openly. Talk about why values such as honesty, self-reliance, and responsibility are important, and how values help children make good decisions. Teach your child how each decision builds on previous decisions as one's character is formed, and how a good decision makes the next decision easier.
Parents have the greatest influence on shaping their children. Children learn more from what parents do than what they say. Children watch and copy the way their parents fight depression and stress. Don't give the message that at first sign of anxiety or discomfort, one should take a 'feel-good' medicine. Attitude makes drugs use permissible. Recognize how your actions affect the development of your child's values. Simply stated, children copy their parents' behavior. Children whose parents smoke, for example, are more likely to become smokers.
Evaluate your own use of tobacco, alcohol, prescription medicines, and even over-the-counter drugs. Consider how your attitudes and actions may be shaping your child's choice about whether or not to use alcohol or other drugs. This does not mean, however, that if you are in the habit of having wine with dinner or an occasional beer or cocktail you must stop. Explain to the children that there are differences between what adults may do legally and what is appropriate and legal for children. Keep that distinction sharp, however. Do not let your children be involved in your drinking by mixing a cocktail for you or bringing you a beer, and do not allow your child to have sips of your drink.
Look for conflicts between your words and your actions. Remember that children are quick to sense when parents send signals by their actions that's all right to duck unpleasant duties or to be dishonest. Telling your child to say that you are not at home because a phone call comes at an inconvenient time is, in effect, teaching your child that it is all right to be dishonest.
Make sure that your child understands your family values. Parents assume, sometimes mistakenly, that children have "absorbed" values even though they may be rarely or never discussed. You can test your child's understanding by discussing some common situations at the dinner table.
Family Rules
Every family should establish a set of clear and fair rules that everybody in the family should know. There are a number of standard family rules that should help you keep your family members drug free. As parents, you are responsible for setting rules for your children to follow. When it comes to drug use, strong rules need to be established to protect the well-being of a child. Define boundaries between parents and kids and these should be maintained, i. e. parents should be parents and kids should be kids.
Setting rules is only half the job, however; you must be prepared to enforce the penalties when the rules are broken. Explain the reasons for the rules. Tell your child what the rules are and what behavior is expected. Discuss the consequences of breaking the rules: what the punishment will be, how it will be carried out, how much time will be involved, and what the punishment is supposed to achieve.
If a family member violates the family rules and use drug, he must know that there are consequences because he has not only violated a family rule but he has also violated federal, state and local laws. Punishment should be given immediately. As soon as you suspect the use of drugs, put your punishment into action. Do not postpone the punishment for the next violation.
Make it clear to your child that no-alcohol/no-drug-use rule remains the same at all times-in your home, in a friend's home, anywhere the child is. Don't add new consequences that have not been discussed before the rule was broken. Avoid unrealistic threats. You should react calmly and carry out the punishment that the child expects to receive for breaking the rule.
Before framing rules for a drug-free family, you should look into yourself. Do you take a drink as soon as you come home from work? Do all or any of the adults in your family take alcohol routinely and become intoxicated? Do any of the family members misuse prescription or patented drugs? Even the use of drugs to gain or lose weight and sleep disorders, and tranquilizers are considered against the norms of a drug-free family. The family rules cannot be different for different members of the family. If you are a habitual drinker, you should not expect your kids to be alcohol free.
Set an example by not using any illegal drugs or misusing alcohol and prescription drugs. Don't keep illegal drugs in your home and don't allow their use in your home by others. Let other persons know that yours is a drug-free family and you don't tolerate illegal drugs at parties you attend. Don't go to parties and celebrations which involve alcohol.
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